Home Of The Braves

The Atlanta Braves, a team I’ve followed for over thirty years, is moving to a new stadium in Marietta, Georgia, in a few years, and Turner Field, in use for only about 20 years, will be torn down. And they just hired an architect to design the new stadium. Allow me to make a suggestion to the architects:

The congressional district in which Cobb County/Marietta resides is among the most conservative, gummint-hating districts in the country. It is also the most prosperous county in Georgia, as it receives more of that hateful gummint money than pretty much any other congressional district in the US. Of course, they build, almost exclusively, weapons for the US military, which they consider to be very patriotic; if however they got their money building high speed rail engines and passenger cars for a national rail project, they’d call that Socialism, or Communism.

Bearing that in mind, they ought to build the stadium using a theme honoring the fallen soldiers who have made that part of Georgia so wealthy and so able to look down the noses of all those Northeastern, Left Coast and Chicago liberal types from whose money that prosperity primarily derives.

All the symbols of overt nationalism should be on display, the numerous and grotesquely huge flags (and perhaps a few rebel flags as well: after all, what’s patriotism without the occasional treasonous armed rebellion?), the continued blaring of patriotic themes such as “Dixie” and the assorted works of Lynrd Skynrd, maybe even bury a few dead soldiers in the outfield during pregame ceremonies. They sent ’em out to die, after all.

Also in keeping with the theme, they should build special seating, restrooms, and water fountains for “those people”, though that might be a moot point since one of the reasons for the move to Marietta to begin with is to keep “those people” away, unless of course they want to work serving the wealthy patrons who will undoubtedly flock to the stadium the better to yell in person at people who actually get paid a decent wage for the things they do. Yes, I remember how they treated that Union thug Tom Glavine.

Now that would make the future Lester Maddox Field regionally appropriate.

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