Scams

Setting:

FOX restaurant, somewhere in a red state

Mr FOXwatcher
Morning

FOXbot
Morning

Mr FOXwatcher
What have you got, then?

FOXbot
Well, there’s Muslim and Benghazi; Muslim Kenya and Benghazi; Muslim and scams; Muslim, Benghazi and scams; Muslim, Benghazi, Kenya and scams; scams, Benghazi, Kenya and scams; scams, Muslim, scams, scams, Benghazi and scams; scams, scams, scams, Muslim and scams; scams, scams, scams, scams, scams, scams, socialism, scams, scams, scams and scams; or a series of discussions featuring four conservatives to every liberal moderated by someone who hasn’t had a clue about anything that’s ever happened since 1987 and scams.

Mrs FOXwatcher
Have you got anything without scams in it?

FOXbot
Well, there’s scams Muslim Kenya and scams, that’s not got much scams in it.

Mrs FOXwatcher
I don’t want any scams!

Mr FOXwatcher
Why can’t she have Muslim, Benghazi, scams and Kenya?

Mrs FOXwatcher
That’s got scams in it!

Mr FOXwatcher
Not as much as scams, Muslim, Kenya and scams.

Mrs FOXwatcher
Look, could I have Muslim, Benghazi, scams and Kenya without the scams?

FOXbot
Uuuuuuggggh!

Mrs FOXwatcher
What d’you mean, uuugggh? I don’t like scams!

Vikings
(singing) Scams, scams, scams, scams, scams … scams, scams, scams, scams … lovely scams, wonderful scams …

FOXbot
Shut up. Shut up! Shut up! You can’t have Muslim, Benghazi, scams and Kenya without the scams.

Mrs FOXwatcher
Why not?

FOXbot
No, it wouldn’t be Muslim, Benghazi, scams and Kenya, would it?

Mrs FOXwatcher
I don’t like scams!

Mr FOXwatcher
Don’t make a fuss, dear. I’ll have your scams. I love ’em. I’m having scams, scams, scams, scams, scams socialism, scams, scams and scams.

FOXbot
Socialism is off.

Mr FOXwatcher
Well can I have scams instead?

FOXbot
You mean scams, scams, scams, scams, scams, scams, scams, scams, scams, scams?

Mr FOXwatcher
Yes.

FOXbot
Arrggh!

And so on and so on and so on…